Ribbons for Prostate Cancer

Ok, following my last couple of posts, I'm going to move on for the time being to something somewhat less conceptual, 'victim-y' and more readily obvious - but also something I (bizarrely) hope to be able to sound a bit more positive about in my outlook: the Cancer issue.

As I'm sure you know, a large proportion of research funding for cancers in the UK is actually provided by research charities, not the NHS or government. Particularly at the moment, with spending cuts being what they are, the need for charitable donations and awareness campaigns is very high.

In amongst all the different types of cancer, there are certain ones that are (generally) gender-specific: breast cancer, gynaecological cancers, prostate cancer, and testicular & penile cancers.

Of these, breast cancer arguable has the best awareness campaign. In particular, Cancer Research UK runs some fantastic campaigns - I for one seem to see a donation tub in every other shop, cafe or pub. I see adverts all over the internet, and regularly on television, and in magazines and papers. I see shops which join in campaigns, perhaps by offering donations when you buy a particular product. Women will regularly write opinion columns on the subject. Women's events such as Race For Life generate a great deal of money and publicity for Cancer Research UK. I've seen women wearing ribbons, badges, t-shirts, all to help keep the issue in the public eye.

And that's no bad thing. In the UK alone, around 12,000 women a year die from breast cancer, from 45,500 diagnosed. This is a very serious problem, and the more money going towards it, the more lives can be saved.

Of the gynaecological cancers, the most widely and publicly talked about is cervical cancer, and there have been many loud discussions and campaigns to encourage more women - particularly young women - to get screenings. Perhaps it is strange to think that the 20% rise in screenings in 2009 was mostly due to Jade Goody, but that's still a good thing - it got the papers and morning programmes talking about it, it got people at work talking about it, it got women getting themselves checked out.

Of the other gynaecological cancers, I'm afraid to say I have heard little, outside of what I have found on cancer research and awareness websites.

*****

I imagine some of you are now expecting me to compare men's cancer awareness and blast a disproportionate campaign or something, but I'm not going to do that. There are, in fact, good resources and good campaigns already happening. True, we're not hearing about them as much (or certainly, I'm not), but at whose door do we lay that?

I know about prostate and testicular cancer. I know that prostate cancer kills about 10,000 men each year in the UK. I know another 2,000 will be diagnosed with testicular cancer. Penile cancer only effects very few men in the UK, but is quite more widespread in Africa and Asia.

But what have I done about it? Up to now, very little. What have the men I know done about it? Well, I don't know who may or may not donate, but how many men do you know who turned blue this year? How many ran in Keep Your Eye On The Ball? Or even just bought the t-shirt?

I know I didn't. And I can't think of anyone who did. Apologies if I know you and you did, but I just cannot bring it to mind.

And that is my fault. My responsibility. And also, if you are a man, yours.

I've seen quite a few MRAs complaining that men aren't allowed onto certain women-only fund-raising events. What I don't seem to see them doing, is organising events or campaigns of their own. Perhaps I'm wrong on that, perhaps someone can point me towards one, but it seems that many of them would rather complain about what they perceive us as not having, than trying to increase what we do. There's a lot of noise blown about to do with the fact that - in particular - breast cancer gets a lot more funding than prostate cancer, despite the similar risks and fatalities, but that is because women are getting organised and trying to do something about it is a way men just are NOT. If we want our funding to increase, perhaps we should get off our collective arse and do something about it.

Of course, when it comes to medical stuff, that's just something men aren't all that good at doing. I'm the same - I'll leave twinges, aches and what-have-you, in order to see if it'll just go away. I'm generally rather reluctant to go to the doctor, and don't know if I've ever gone just for an unprompted check-up. In the past, I've not examined myself as often as I should. I found a wonderful "how can women help" suggestion on a site I'm afraid I've misplaced, so cannot link to, which basically said 'nag him'. But that does hold a particular truth to it - how many men go to the doctor, not of their own will, but because their partner made them?

A couple of facts MRAs like to bring out repeatedly are men's shorter life-expectancies, and in the case of cancer, the much higher mortality rate men suffer. But, at some point, don't we have to stop playing victim about it all, stop shouting 'unfair', and maybe look to see if we can do something positive to help change that?

Certainly I know I can, should, and will do a lot more. And I would wholeheartedly encourage you, if you currently don't, do do the same.

Introduction

Hello, greetings, welcome and thanks for coming here.

So, why am I here and what am I hoping to achieve with this blog? To be honest I'm not entirely sure. I can, though, explain why I have decided to set this up:

Over the last few months, I have been pulled into the world of the men's rights movement. The principle tenant of the MRM is that male gender-specific problems are woefully under-considered in modern society. They believe that feminism has pushed too far, and that men and boys are now getting a very raw deal as a result. They believe that the current situation is unfair, unethical, and ultimately dangerous.

And, in honesty, when you look at what they're talking about it's hard to disagree.

Now, I know some of you probably already think I'm full of it, and before I continue I would like to make a very important point: I do not think that men and only men are victims today. I know that women have gender-specific issues, and I completely agree that they need to be dealt with and resolved as best as possible. What does concern me, however, is how little men's issues are considered in comparison to women's issues. They do not make the news, do not fill opinion columns, do not make it onto talk shows – or, when they do, the defenders of men's rights are often talked to as if they are simply whining and ought to 'man up'. Comparative research and support funding for men's issues in relation to women's is so insignificant as to be at times practically zero. Often it feels that, if the genders were reversed, we'd be all over it in a heartbeat.

So I am going to be discussing the ideas of the men's rights movement on here. I believe that the dialogue really needs to be opened up, to become more public. I think, frankly, that far too many people are just not aware that these issues even exist to begin with. So yes, I will predominantly be talking about men's rights – though probably not exclusively.

So what will I actually be posting? Well, as I said I'm a bit new to all this, and I'm really trying to figure a lot out of it in my head – how it affects my life, what I can do, whether I agree with or believe some of what is found in the MRA (men's rights activists) blogs and forums. I'm trying to process it all, so in some ways this blog is ultimately like some big therapy session... how lucky for you all...

The upshot of that is that I'm not intending to be posting example after example of every incident that ever occurs. There are some very good fact-based blogs and sites out there already, and all I would be doing in that case is copying what they've said over again. I may (probably will) link to them, use them as a starting board, but really, this is about me trying to figure out where to go from here – how to become not an MRA, not a feminist, but what I would call a true Equalitarian. Essentially, I don't want to be telling anyone what to think, what to feel or how to behave. I want to discuss it with everyone else.

Probable upcoming topics will include (though not necessarily in this order):

• Marriage & divorce: should you protect yourself?
• Domestic Violence: where are the men's shelters?
• In a world where women work, is alimony outdated?
• Ribbons for prostate cancer
• Gender roles and the Patriarchy
• Men and mental health
• Anti-male feminists
• Anti-female MRAs
• Anonymity for those accused of rape
• Male vs female expendability
• Minister for Men – is it time?
• The continuing decline of boys in education
• Equality at work: boardrooms vs basements
• Misandry vs misogyny in modern society
• Let's talk toilet seats: the Sitzpinkler effect

Finally, one last thing, just to be clear: I am not here to play victim. I know I live a very fortunate, comfortable and privileged life. White, western, middle-class, educated, employed... I know that. That does not stop me being concerned when I look out into the world and see other people's lives being damaged unnecessarily. And when nobody else seems to be willing or able to raise these issues, to talk about them, to ask “why?”, then I feel like I have to. But I am not about to play victim here.

Please, if you do not agree with me, do not try to argue with me by pointing out how privileged my life is, nor by pointing to history. History cannot be used as an excuse for the sins of the present, and pointing out my privileges does not help those who do not share them. I want to discuss these issues rationally and logically from different people's perspectives – not play a never ending game of 'who has it worse'.

Thanks for reading and, if you're interested, please do keep an eye on things; hopefully we'll get something interesting going on here!